I am not a monster

While shopping in a department store in the "women's" sized clothing I overheard a conversation taking place a few rows over from me. By bad luck or as a joke someone decided that the plus sized clothes should be right next to the misses sized exercise clothing.

A woman and her husband were wondering through the racks apparently trying to find yoga pants. They chattered loudly about their day and commented on the clothes they passed. Suddenly I heard the wife exclaim, "Oh no honey! Don't go into the monster section!" They both chuckled and moved on.

This made me pause. I thought to myself how scary it sounded. I was also worried if I would make it out alive. I was right in the middle the "monster section". What if one grabbed me? How would I get away? I was doomed.

The I realized that I was the "monster". I had nothing to run from except myself.

As calloused and cruel as their words had been it made me stop to think. Was this how the world views me? Am I a "monster" because I shop in the plus size section of a store.

In short, the answer is yes. I am a monster to society.

Take one look at any magazine and you will see that this is true. They feature articles about how to cure your monsterness in easy to manage steps. It’s a slow process but it can be done and they will help you do it. They also illustrate the non-moster women on every page. However, the only place you will find monsters are on the good way to lose a man/friends/family, the bad health and the ugly people on the streets pages. No one wants to look like or at a monster.

So whatever will a monster do in this world of monster loathing and hatred? I suppose you can choose to go into hiding under a bridge to snatch little children or goats that dare to cross. You could rise from the sea to smash unsuspecting boats that pass nearby. And for those really ambitious monster, you could even go on a rampage and gobble up part of a city.

Or, you could choose to become less of a monster. That’s what I’ve decided to do.

I’m not doing it for the jerks in the store or those that decide what is and is not worth printing in a magazine. I’m doing it so I can go hiking with my husband. I’m doing it so I have a better chance of seeing my daughter become a mother. I’m doing it so that I can feel happier and healthier. And, I won’t lie, I’m doing it for a better selection of clothes at the store.

One thing I know for certain as I enter into my human rehabilitation: My monster body may fade and disappear my monster heart can never be touched.