The secret donut

Every Wednesday I treat myself to a donut and a cup of fancy coffee. I really look forward to my mid-week treat. It’s a spirit booster. And, I know that I will be at the gym later in the day to burn it right back off.

The reason this donut is so special is because it’s a secret. I never tell anyone that I have a donut on Wednesday or any other day. It sounds like a silly thing to hide but I have good reasons.

The main reason my doughnut remains a secret is because it makes it taste better. I don’t have to worry about what others think of me having a treat. I’m pretty sure I have an idea of what people think when they see a fat girl eating sweets. And, I know what people who know the fat girl think. One set of thoughts is unkind and the other kind. Either way I don’t care for the judgment.

The second reason I keep it a secret is because people won’t understand my need for the donut. People who have never needed to diet or don’t care enough to diet can’t possibly grasp why one donut is such a treasure. I can imagine what most would say, “Why is it such a big deal?” Others would probably wonder, “If you’re on a diet why are you eating junk?” The answer is simple. Because it makes me happy.

My secret donut is the one sweet I allow myself all week. I savor each bite because I know I will have to wait an entire week before I have another. It is the gift I give myself for containing my impulses for the other 6 days, 23 hours and 55 minutes. I’ve earned it.

Week 5: 01/30-02/05

Pros: Feeling a tad better about my prospects.

Cons: Getting super sick and not going to the gym!

Days the correct amount of calories were consumed: 5

Minutes working out: 35

Calories burned: 335

Pounds lost: 4

Week 4: 01/23-01/29

Pros: Getting into the swing of going to the gym.

Cons: Not seeing much progress.

Days the correct amount of calories were consumed: 6

Minutes working out: 105

Calories burned: 1185

Pounds lost: 3

Week 3: 01/16-01/22

Pros: Going back to the gym after vacation.

Cons: Big weight gain from my short vacation.

Days the correct amount of calories were consumed: 2

Minutes working out: 57

Calories burned: 659

Pounds lost: 2

BIG APPLE=BIG WEIGHT GAIN

I went to NYC this last weekend. It was fun but it means that I had no gym workouts and ate like a crazed woman. I have no doubt this means a big set back for me.

Week 2: 01/09-01/15

Pros: Having something positive to do after work.

Cons: Making myself go to the gym.

Days the correct amount of calories were consumed: 3

Minutes working out: 100

Calories burned: 896

Pounds lost: Gained 3

Gym Membership

I’ve discovered that while I like free (as in the free mini gym at my apartment) I prefer support (as in paid gym membership). Even though I am working out alone, when I go to the gym I feel more motivated by the being near other people who are working hard too. I find that watching people who are sweating just as much (and more) as I am really helps.

It feels less lonely. It makes it easier to make myself go. It’s almost like I’m competing with everyone in the room. If I don’t show up to work out then they win.

I can’t cheat because my gym is keeping count of how many times I come. I also can’t cheat because my body won’t let me. It will tell of every missed work out and every eaten doughnut.